Killing Myself Your Love
by prettybutterfly99
Summary: Arther is in love with Merlin to bad Merlin in a realtionship. How far will Arthur go for Merlin's love? Modern AU Slash Arthur/Merlin
1. Chapter 1

**Killing Myself For Your Love**

Arthurs P.O.V

So gorgeous, beautiful and so untouchable was all I could think as Merlin walked passed me. He was so perfect for – ow who poked me. I turned to Morgana my so called best friend for an explanation.

"What you were staring and we wouldn't want Merlin to know that you want him to fuck you so hard it hurts."

"Shhhhhh someone might hear you"

She rolled her eyes what did this woman expect for me to do shout to the whole school that I love Merlin Emrys.

"I still don't understand why you won't tell him" She complained

"In case you haven't notice he has a boyfriend" I know the love of my life has a boyfriend it sucks hard.

"When have you ever let such a small thing bother you?"

"When have I cared about another person more than myself?"

She sighed I could tell I upset her great just what I need.

"Look I'm just saying I miss happy Arthur. I hate I fell in love but he doesn't love me back Arthur."

Damn now I feel bad.

"Look I know I haven't been in the happiest mood these past few weeks but I'm fine and I get over. I've gotta go see you at home"

As I walked the away I could have sworn I heard her say I'm not get over.


	2. Chapter 2

**Life before Merlin**

**Morgana's P.O.V**

As I watched him walk away I wonder if he knows what he's doing to himself. Life before Merlin was great Arthur was happy he talked more and not about the same person over and over again. Now it's like his whole world revolves around Merlin it scares me slightly because what if one day he can't take that Will's Merlin boyfriend what will happen then? I can't lose him he's all I have left yet I still feel like I already have. I remember the exact moment Arthur fell in love with him how could I not it was the day I lost my best friend.

_*Flashback* _

"_Hurry up Morgana"_

_I swear if I heard his annoying voice one more time I would add another 15 minutes on to this trip._

"_I'm coming you piece of shit."_

"_Shut up or I'll leave you here."_

_Yeah that's loving Arthur for you._

"_Look I'm finished."_

_I grinned as I put the last dab of lip gloss on. I am so hot is the only thing that runs through my mind. I run down the stairs barley making it to Arthur's car._

"_Sheesh, Arthur you act like we have a time limit or something" _

"_Look I just want to get there at a reasonable time."_

_Reasonable time my ass he just wants to get laid. I grin as we show up they place is packed just the way we like it. I loop Arthur's arm through mine and march up to the club. This was so going to be our night. I quickly drag Arthur up to the bar knowing him he'll get lost looking at some twinks ass._

"_You want a drink?" is all get to say before I notice the look in his eye like he's seen a god or something. I start to look in his direction when I see a brunet. Ivore skin, a great smile and a lean body. Yeah Arthur was going to be all over that. _

"_New flavor of the week"_

"_NO"_

_Wait I'm confused._

"_He's going to be the one Morgana. I can feel it."_

_*End of Flashback*_

If anyone had told me then that Arthur had meant it I would have laughed and through a drink in their faces I wish I knew then what I knew now. I thought love was an amazing thing now I'm not so sure.


	3. Chapter 3

**Arthur's P.O.V**

I smiled as I walked into English class how could I not be happy this is the only class have with Merlin. Okay so really I have like three classes other than this one with Merlin but his idiot of boyfriend Will is in all those classes so staring and talking to Merlin isn't really an option. I grin as I take a seat next to Merlin. My palms start to sweat and I swear I'm about to go into cardiac arrest. Oh god this can't be happening I'm freaking Arthur Penadragon! I don't have panic attacks next to guys to like the have panic attacks next to me ! Then again Merlin is an accept ion to every rule.

"Today we are gone to start a project you will ask the person next to you questions about what they look for in the people they date and befriend this is due next Tuesday. If you have problems with their sexuality come to me."

I sit there gaping in shock are teacher just assigned us the greatest project known to man. This project could just make Merlin dump that idiot and go out with me. This project was going to rock.


	4. Chapter 4

**The Bet **

Merlin's P.O.V

Damn it, Will was right we have to do this stupid project today. I'm starting to regret accepting this bet but then again I can always say it was peer pressure. Then I'd be lying making me even worse of a person than I am now. Arthur doesn't deserve to fail this class he's really an okay person if you don't count the fact that he sleeps with anything that moves. I know you're wondering what the bet is…. I'm talking to myself ugh this bet is making me grow crazy. Might as well tell myself Will my super sexy boyfriend betted me, Merlin Emrys to write ridiculous answer on my relationship project.

Yes I know I'm over reacting don't judge. Maybe this bet can be fun it's not like Pendragon likes me.


	5. Chapter 5

Arthur's P.O.V

"You can go first." I say quickly.

I watch as he takes a deep breath and rubs his hands down his pants. He seems so nervous, why would he be nervous the whole school already knows he's bi.

"Hey if you're uncomfortable I can go ask the teacher of I can have a new partner."

Please don't make me get a new partner this is my only chance. Please don't make me get a new partner.

"No it's okay. I guess I'm a little nervous. Before I start I want you to know that Will the only exception to my usual standards. I like the people I date to be thin like a model with blonde curls. I also like the quiet submissive type."

I sit there in shock trying to figure out why the world hates me so much. The guy my dreams doesn't even like my body or personality. I'm built like a football player and honestly my hair can't decide if it wants to be blond, brown or in the middle. The only time I'm submissive is when I let Morgana when an argument no wonder he's never looked at me I'm probably ugly to him.

I quickly raise my hand to be excused, if I going to die of humiliation and despair I want to do it on my own terms.

I run quickly to the bathroom ignoring the random people walking down.

I lock the bathroom door and take a look at my body, a really good look just because Merlin doesn't find me attractive doesn't mean everybody else does right?


	6. Chapter 6

Arthur's P.O.V

I look good. I mean I'm Arthur fucking Pendragon, I was born good looking. Maybe Merlin so blinded by Will's ugliness that he can't see when a nice _hot_ guy is right in front of him. Who am I kidding Will has that rugged country bad boy thing going for him. I guess that's why he's the only exception to Merlin's taste.

_I need to get out of here _is the only solid thought that runs through my mind everything else is just a big jumble of how I ugly I am to Merlin and how I can _fix_ myself so he will like me. Memories flash through my mind of the last time I tried to _fix _myself for my father and the destruction it caused, the therapy I had to endure, but it worked I got my father's love and attention. Maybe it could work for Merlin too. The changes wouldn't be serious just enough to make him notice me. I quickly text Morgana to tell her I'm skipping for the rest of the day after that I'm off running where I don't know. I'm just looking for a place to clear my head.

Merlin's P.O.V

Where is he? Unless he got stuck on the toilet he should be back by now. What if he did get stuck on the toilet, it would make sense Arthur doesn't seem like the smartest person in the world. Now I'm just over reacting he probably has to take a huge dump or he's skipping class. That prat would skip class, leaving me with all the work so he can go screw some two-bit whore. This is going to be one train wreck of a project.

_AN: I really tried my best on this chapter so go easy on it._


	7. Chapter 7

**Arthur **

I run and pretend I don't know where I am going. I tried to turn my ugly body back to school, back to Merlin. MY Merlin.

'But he's not mine...' I think.

I need to go somewhere. Anywhere but the place I'm going now. Still my body keeps rushing over there. Taking me to the place. I'm not sure I want to go to.I suddenly feel myself stop. I looked up. I'm here... the place of all anorexic weight loss epicness.

You know its funny I left schol to run away from what's in my head, yet I still end up right in front of the place that almost killed me last time. The Gym, you can laugh I know it's hilarious but this always supplied my problem. I could run myself into oblivion but there was always someone better locking than me.I better get started, it takes a while to see the effects. I walk in and begin to train, but I know at the end of the day Merlin still never love me.

**Morgana**

That idiot sending me a text in the middle of class. He's probably banging some twink behind the bleachers. Oh, wait he's in love with Merlin, the one thing he lives for, the apple of his eye. I am sick of it; I'm sick of coming home to see him moping over that twit. I just want it to end, with everyone alive and mentally stable. Fat chance of that happening...I wonder where he is... Oh man now I'm getting worried. Stupid Arthur. Stupid Merlin for making him fall in love with him. Stupid stupid stupid.


End file.
